What is in a Name?
by Forgotten Lake
Summary: Mr. Prongs DID NOT consent to this story written. Any readers will be tracked down, oblivated, and if that doesn't work, hexed. The rest of the Marauders are proud to present this, Mr. Prongs unfortunate secrets. No Prongs protection will be offered.


Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter.

AN Just a couple of short omakes I came up with, and figured I'd post, since I don't think they'd fit any where else. I might come up with other ideas, but for now, this is it!

What, exactly, is being implied by the nickname Prongs?

"Yo, Prongs!" Sirius called, spotting his friend entering through the portrait hole,"Over here!"

James waved, and started moving in their direction.

"Prongs?" Lily's voice spoke, and Sirius looked at her, "That's his nickname?"

"Yeah, what do you think?" James asked, stopping on his way to his friends and looking slightly proud. "Does it suit me?"

Lily smirked, and Sirius's pang of sympathy for his best friend was overshadowed by his marauder side, who loved seeing anyone making or being made a fool of, "It's perfect," she declared.

Okay...not what he was expecting (and hoping for). Fights between James and Evans were always amusing. At least her comment made James happy, though he seemed a bit shocked...along with the rest of the common room. "Really?" James asked.

"Of course! I've never seen a more perfect example of overcompensation! Of course, that begs the question, what, exactly, are you compensating for? it can't be your over-inflated ego, or you big head," Lily tapped her fingers on the chin thoughtfully. James stood there, literally frozen like a deer in front of a lumos. "Your body seems normally proportioned. Hm. It must be something I can't see. Maybe that's a blessing then. Wouldn't want to embarrass you or anything."

The entire common room, having quieted to hear James and Lily's conversation, burst out into laughter. James, left unable to explain why, exactly, he had come up with the name Prongs, and a bit speechless, slunk over to his friends and buried his face in his hands.

This at least spared him from seeing his own friend's amusement.

"Can I change my nickname?" James asked plaintively.

Sirius laughed. "You know, I think I agree with Lily. The name does suit you. What do you think, Remus, Peter?"

"I like it!" Peter exclaimed.

Remus chuckled. "You're stuck, my friend. Peter's already named after his tail, Sirius after his feet, and me, for, well, you know. The only outstanding feature left are your antlers,"

"Can we trade?" James pleaded, opening his eyes and looking beseechingly at Sirius, "Come on, old mate! You can be Snuffles, and I can be...er...Hoofifeet?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Snuffles? That's the best thing you have to offer? No way!"

"Peter, my good friend! How about Whisker? Big ear? Twitchy nose? Beady eye?" James was definitely scrapping the bottom of the barrel.

"And you wondered why we didn't let you pick our names After your pet horned owl named Horny, we all were understandably cautious." Remus said.

James groaned again. "I was young! Mom told me I had a new horned owl, and it did have horns! Will you guys never let me live that down?"

Sirius guffawed a bit. "What do you think best friends are for, if not to remind you of all of your numerous faults, so you can improve upon them!"

Remus grinned slightly. "I don't think it's going to work on this problem though. I feel sorry for his kids, imagine what names he's going to come up with!"

You Named Him What?

Sirius, Remus, Peter, and James all crowded around the mediwitch, eager and nervous at the prospect of meeting the newest member of the family.

"Here he is," the mediwitch said, handing him to the bemused and elated father, "One bouncing and rather loud baby boy!"

James looked down, amazement and wonder at the boy in his hands. He zoned out, staring at the boy, ignoring all sounds.  
He seemed pretty normal, extraordinary, even, but..."He's hairy!" James blurted out.

"Very good. Harry Potter he is!" the mediwitch declared.

"Er...what was she on about?" James asked as the mediwitch walked away, "I wanted to ask her some questions! Is it normal for a newborn to have this much hair? Is it okay?"

They all stared at him for some reason.

"What?" James asked defensively, "It's not like I have much experience!"

Sirius was the first to break. Great loud, barking laughs filled the hallway. Remus was laughing almost immediately after him, his laughter quieter but no less intense. Peter's high pitched, wheezing laughter followed only a split second later.

"What?" James protested, "What aren't you guys telling me?"

The laughter just got louder. "If this keeps up, none of you are going to be godfathers or honorary uncles!" James threatened, feeling annoyed, insulted, and definitely out of the loop. This was supposed to be a precious moment, and what were his supposedly best friends doing? Laughing! That's it, he was out of there. He turned to leave, but was halted by Sirius.

"Wait!" Sirius gasped. James looked back, his friend had tears from laughing too hard. What was he missing?

"What?" James asked irritably, clutching his new child protectively against his chest. He was too young to have to listen to this mocking laughter.

Remus took over, seeing as Sirius collapsed back into laughter. "The nurse asked you what you wanted to name the boy," he explained.

"So?" James asked, "That's Lily's job. She shot down all of my ideas. She doesn't trust me."

"No, no!" Remus said, between renewed bouts of laughter. Sirius was howling now, and Peter's wheezing sounded as if he was about to choke. "She asked what you wanted to name him, and you said, 'He's Hairy.' Remus couldn't make it any further before he collapsed back into laughter too.

They could see the bewildered look slowly turn to terror as his eyes widened and he stared down at his son, Harry. "I'm so dead." James muttered, a definite feeling of gloom and doom quickly coming over him. His son wasn't looking so happy either. "Oh well, it was nice meeting you son. I'm sorry I won't be able to be there for your first Quidditch match, or everything else, 'cause your mother is about to kill me."

And that's the end of that one. Hope ya'll liked it!


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